You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It all started with a game of naked twister.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
