That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
