That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
