Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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