Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
