You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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