My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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