i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
