God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
