we have pet lesbian snakes
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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