But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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