Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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