K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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