you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
now i know why i became what i already was.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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