i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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