And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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