She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
