If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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