Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
