Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
