I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
