Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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