we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
