i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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