But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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