eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do herpes really smell.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
