I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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