Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
