I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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