i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
