He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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