Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
