whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
