i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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