Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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