So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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