Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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