Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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