Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
