I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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