Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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