we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
