Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
