just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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