just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
