How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
