I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
