she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
