I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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