This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
